UNDONE
by MissSmokey20
Summary: Set after the story of Dragon age 2, Hawke let Anders live at the price of a deadly warning from the Vael prince that the death of the Grand Cleric would be paid by both of the mages. Laila Hawke is then captured by the royal's guardsmen when she is found alone without her group of companions that always accompanied her.
1. Chapter 1

Starkhaven, something beautiful Laila could enjoy if she had been visiting under different circumstances and not with her current company. "I can walk on my own." The Champion growled at the armored man who directed her down a road that was packed with merchants, pulling her arm roughly from his grasp. Voices of men trying to sell their goods and laughter of children as they ran in front of her and the royal escort she had encountered upon the road. Yes her "escort" as they called themselves, not something she would have expected, but after Sebastian's vow to avenge the Grand Cleric... she took a deep breath. At least they did not kill her like she had expected, but then again she never thought the prince would actually find her. She knew it would be a risk slipping in to Starkhaven for supplies, but she had no other choice. Her supplies had long since been finished and traveling on her own had completely worn her mind and body, spells that had once been cast with ease were tiring her mind more than they should. It almost made her wish she would not have given Yais to Carver, her Mabari would have come in very handy in the recent days. Laila turned to look at one of the men next to her, his armor bright and blinding with the bright sun reflecting off the metal, his eyes stared in front of them at the people who littered the streets. Shocked at the obedience that these men seemed to have, of course Sebastian never much talked of Starkhaven with her, she had never expected men as dedicated as they were. Could not be so dedicated if they did not stop a group of pathetic assassins, she rolled her eyes and turned to look at the large set of stairs they were making their way to.

"Impressive." She remarked as they stepped through a large set of doors, the walls of what she could only guess would be where the royal family would sit were decorated in beautiful paintings and banners. The group of men led her silently in to a large open room where she caught sight of the familiar white armor, it seemed only right that his armor would be the brightest of the men. He had his back to her, but she would know him any where, the man who had sworn himself to the Chantry and followed her for most of those years in Kirkwall and only when she refused his demand of murdering the man who had saved Carver from the Darkspawn taint. She owed Anders everything, she could not bring herself to kill the mage. How could she, how could Sebastian expect her to take his life when he had saved the last piece of family she had left? If he had been so insistent on Anders death, why did he not kill him himself? The Chantry had done nothing for her, she had spent most of her life running from them to keep not only herself but Bethany from the Tower. There were Mages who were still devoted to the Chantry, but Laila could not bring herself to ever understand their methods.

She cleared her throat, folding her arms against her chest when the prince turned around. "I imagine you have brought me here to take your revenge on me? Or are you simply here to ask of Anders?" She felt out of place next to the guards, they were neat while her robes were dirtied and stained with blood. Black hair tied back in to what was a neatly wrapped bun until she had ran in to a group of thieves waiting for travelers or merchants to prey upon, now it was loose and some stray pieces had fallen from the tie. She knew she had dried blood on her neck, not wanting to wet her robes she had only cleaned the blood from her face, but it had only taken a moment on the road for a thin layer of dirt to stick to her skin and leave her golden eyes to stand out against the filth. Maker, she could not even remember the last time she had a moment inside a river at the very least to wash herself, after the events of Kirkwall she had been running putting as much distance between her and that city. She adjusted her weight to her right foot causing her hip to push out on the other side, the belts around her waist that kept her pouch full of potions and ingredients stressed at the pull causing the metal of buckles to click against each other and fill the silent room with its voice.

Sebastian waved the men away, waiting until the heavy doors were shut before he walked towards her. "You look awful, Hawke, quite the change from your time in Kirkwall."

"Well I cannot really stop any where with you and the Chantry at my back." She smirked, narrowing her eyes at the man as he came closer. "I am not as skilled as Anders in my disappearing act. Blending, blending I can do, but hiding-" She shook her head. "I am not too skilled at hiding. How did you find me, Sebastian?"

"Clearly word has spread of your..." He paused and studied the girl, looking over the robes she wore and the dried blood that clung to the sleeves. Was it her own or an others? She would not be so desperate to turn to blood magic, would she? After all she has seen, clearly she could not be so dense. "effects on those around you. I merely just listened and when I heard of the direction you were traveling I sent out men to meet you."

"Why not kill me outright then, Sebastian?"

"Yes, I am sure that would go over well with the mages who are pulling from the towers. Their token hero murdered by a Vael while traveling."

"I am sure your men would keep that information to themselves."

"You taught me that trust is easily broken."

Her brows came together, the mocking smirk on her lips quickly fading. "So you wish to discuss this, Sebastian?"

"I do." His head tilt to the side and his arms came to rest behind his back. "Where is Anders, Hawke? Why are you alone?"

"Let us just back this conversation up, Sebastian. How exactly did I show you trust was easily broken? Was it when I killed your families killers, or maybe perhaps when I followed you in to Hightown and slaughtered that demon and its play thing? Oh wait, are you talking about me not listening to your demand and killing a friend because you were too weak to do it yourself?"

"You let that murder walk away!"

"I did, but why did you?" She placed her hands on her hips. "I did not care for Elthina, you did. I do not remember you taking vengeance for my mother, if I remember correctly when I asked you to assist me you refused. What was the excuse you gave me, Sebastian?" She tapped her finger to her chin mockingly. "I believe it was duties you had not finished with the Chantry, but I am expected to avenge some one who meant something to you? Curious how you took from me and only gave when it was convenient for you."

"I followed you loyally and you turned your back on me!"

"Your memories are tainted with your hatred." She waved her hand in the air, as if the motion would push away the conversation. "Why am I here?"

"Where is Anders?"

She shrugged. "I parted ways with everyone a few months back, I could not even guess of where he has gone." He shocked her when he grabbed the front of her robes, his hand forming into a fist with the fabric bunched inside of it. She quickly took hold of his wrist and glared up at the man, his glare from the sharp blue eyes burning into her. "I suggest you take your hand off of me, Vael!" She growled, her brow pulled tightly together and eyes narrowed.

"Tell me where he is?"

"I do not know!" She barked, fingers digging at the armor that blocked her from his skin. Even if she could muster up enough of her mind to focus on the spell, the armor would stop her flames from even touching him. She could barely fight back against him with mere strength, she was no warrior, but she was not weak. The years spent swinging her staff, eventually having it modified to include a blade at the end, had strengthened her body from more than just a frail mage who relied on their magic. Exhaustion made her weak, made her mind weak not just her body, if he chose to run a blade through her she could not stop him.

"Tell me, Laila, tell me and I wont hurt you."

"I have told you, I do not know where he is! Do with me what you will, I am telling you the truth!"

He pushed her back as he released her, causing Hawke to stumble backwards, almost falling to the floor as she caught her balance awkwardly. She flinched when he called out to his men, the noise echoed off the white stone walls that surrounded them.

"Have her cleaned up and slapped in chains." He spoke the moment the doors opened.

* * *

Her request for lyrium was quickly denied by her captures before she was left in an empty room with only a large bed and fire place, they had not even lit the fire for her to keep warm by. The thin blankets upon the bed did little to warm her body, she had curled herself in them the best she could to try and manage to warm her bare skin. She would have rather stayed in her soiled robe than to be left in only her small clothes, it may have been covered in filth but it still warmed her skin. Her body shuddered when wet hair found its way to her skin, causing it to shock her body with the chill. Laila cursed under her breath, she could not even maintain enough power for a simple spell to produce a fire for warmth. It all seemed odd to her, for such a simple spell it should not require this much strain from her, her mind wandered on and thought of Sebastian placing something to halt her magic. Would he be that threatened by her, or was it Anders the trick had been placed for? She pulled the blanket from her face when her door was pushed open, eyes straining against the darkness to get a look at who had entered.

"Please." She begged, her voice shaky from the cold. "I just want a fire for warmth, I give you my word I will not do anything." Her eyes narrowed, only making out the form of someone, the sound of shoes against the stone was the only answer she received before light filled the room. "Thank you." She sighed, pulling herself from the bed with the thin blanket wrapped tightly around her. She looked over to the person who took pity on her. She stopped suddenly and tightened her grasp on the blanket when she saw Sebastian staring in to the flame. His glorious armor replaced with the clothes befitting a noble man, the vest that lay across his shoulders was loosely undone something that would have been looked down upon if he were in the company of another. "Sebastian, I am exhausted and was denied lyrium." She spoke softly, defeat in her voice. "I have not eaten since I arrived, I am not in the condition to argue with you. I have no answers for what you wish to know."

He did not answer her, merely turning from the fire and leaving the room, the lock clicking in the place and leaving her alone once again. Laila sighed to herself and made her way to the fire, getting herself as close as she could before resting on the floor. Her legs pulled against her chest with her head upon her knees as the warmth crept in to her blanket and across her skin. The shaking had stopped and for that she was thankful, but the relief brought upon new pain as her stomach began to protest its hunger. At least she was warm, starving, but warm. She did not hear the lock or give any notice to the door as it opened again. It was not until the aroma of food found her nose and caused her to open her eyes, finding Sebastian knelt in front of her with a plate filled with different types of food.

"Thank you." She spoke quietly, taking the plate from his hands, the irons on her wrist clanging together. "Am I your prisoner then? To be held until you are satisfied?"

He stood up and turned towards the door, not looking over at her as he answered. He pulled the door open and spoke as he walked out. "Yes."

A simple answer, nothing more. The door was shut again and the sound of it being locked from the outside rushed to her ears. She was left alone again, at least he had fed her and provided her with a fire this time.


	2. Chapter 2

Voices. Shouting. That was what woke her, the clear sky from the day before when she had been ushered in to Starkhaven was hidden behind a blanket of dark clouds that threatened to soak the land beneath them as lightning struck in the distance and lit her room. Laila pushed herself upright, holding her hand out in front of her as she tried to pull flame in to her palm. Ice, maybe? She sighed and dropped her hand, something was stopping her from casting spells. She could not help but be a bit surprised that he was cunning enough to make sure she was completely disabled and at his mercy. The curiosity of her magic now pushed to the side she turned her attention to the voices outside her door, slightly muffled by the wood. The thin blanket slid from her body as she made her way off the bed, shuttering slightly when the cool wind nipped at her bare skin. Bare feet hurried across the stone and when she had reached the door her ear pressed against its hard surface, her body becoming flat against the wood as she tried to become apart of the argument taking place. Immediately she recognized the familiar heavy accent filled with anger, something she had only heard once. The other, the other seemed familiar to her, but it was not something she could exactly separate from someone on the street.

The argument soon died down and she heard heavy armored boots coming towards her. She pushed off the door, wishing she could have picked up more than just the ending of some bickering. Moving over to the fire that had once burned, but had died while she slept leaving only red embers to burn in its wake. She tucked her hair behind her before turning to look out at the small window, leaning on the stone she looked out on to the view. A beautiful garden with a large statue of a man she could not recognize lay in front of her, the grounds empty of any visitors more likely due to the approaching storm. A part of her could not help but feel appreciative that she was locked inside the room, it was better than having to brave that storm inside a camp and alone. The armored boots soon stepped in to her room and she heard them pause before the door shut behind her visitor. She glanced over her shoulder to see the Vael prince, his hand still placed on the closed door.

"I would apologize for my state of clothing, but I was not given anything to dress myself in." She turned back to the window, listening as he moved about the room. The sound of his boots grew closer to her until she felt the thin blankets she had tightly wrapped herself in the night before draped over her shoulders. "This is a beautiful garden." She remarked, pulling the blanket around her shoulders before looking behind herself at Sebastian who stood close to her. "If I am to be held captive it is nice to have something so beautiful to look out upon."

"Hawke." His voice was so quiet she almost did not hear him speak.

"I was quite surprised that you thought of stopping me from casting." She pulled the blanket tighter around her. "You've changed from the Brother I knew you as, I would have never thought you so..." She stopped and turned to face him, pushing her back against the wall. "I told you the truth, I do not know where Anders has gone or any of his plans. He was the first to leave, Merrill was the last. I traveled with her for weeks, just the two of us, while she searched for a clan. We finally came across one and I parted ways with her, not one of them knows where I am." She looked down, harassing the edge of the blanket with her fingers. "If you wish to kill me..." She sighed and stilled her fingers. "I won't fight back. My mother is dead, my brother hates me and I've not seen him since what happened in Kirkwall. I'm sure he has no interest in speaking with me. I left Yais with Aveline, it is better if he is with Carver... with the Wardens. I have nothing left, people who I thought would always be with me soon found their own ways and I was left to myself." She looked up at him. "Thousands want me dead, some want me to join them... the mages. I can't-" Her cheeks became moist and she wiped her face on the blanket, taking in a deep breath. "I fought so hard, I tried to do everything I could. For my family, my friends... and you." She looked up at the blue eyes that watched her. "And when it came down to it, all of you left."

She moved past him and back to the burning embers of the fire, getting as close as she could in an attempt to pull heat from it. Wind blew from the small window, pulling the long black hair from her face. "Now I am hated and a prisoner to a man I had once felt for, even if he did not feel for me in return." She laughed softly and turned her head towards him. "I thought after everything was over you would see how I cared for you and would leave the Chantry, some type of story that you tell to hopeful little girls to inspire the existence of true love in their hearts." She shook her head as she looked away. "Look at me now. Alone, caged like an animal and completely powerless. I think this is the first time, through everything, that I would not fight death." She turned to face him again. "What else could I possibly lose?" She shrugged. "At least I will see father and mother... and Bethany."

This was not what Sebastian had thought would happen when he heard she was moving towards Starkhaven. Had she come this way knowing he was in her path, hoping he would take her life? Was that what she wanted, to meet her death? This was not the strong woman he had seen, the fighter who stood her ground and fought against impossible odds. This woman was broken, damaged from the years of solving problems for others... of the death around her. Anger that he held for her, for refusing to do what needed to be done seemed to melt away as she melted before him. Spilling out her fears and showing her weakness, something he had never seen. Even when he threatened her with Starkhaven when she refused to give Anders his deserved death she had stood up to him, daring him to come. "Laila." He moved towards her, reaching out to touch her arm as he came closer. He gently turned her around to see her eyes downcast at the floor, she was ashamed. Or was it fear? He pulled the gautlets from his hand and let them fall to the floor. Her eyes closed tightly when his hand touched her face, something he would have never dared to do in Kirkwall, not within the Chantry. There were no rules anymore, no more vows, they had been broken when he had taken back Starkhaven from Goran. He did not have to worry about the temptation she had been to him and how he had prayed for the dreams of her to come to an end.

Stepping cautiously forward, waiting for the Hawke he knew to return and for her to lash out at him and call him every vile name she could come up with, he pulled her against his chest. She did not yell, try to hit him or even protest. Simply allowing the comfort to take hold of her and grabbing hold at the front plates of his armor, resting her head against them. This, he should have been there when Leandra passed, he should have held her like this while she let out her sadness and anger towards the loss of her mother. She was right, he was not there and his excuse was nothing in comparison. When she had approached him that night telling him of her mother's absence and asking him to come with her to look in Low Town, he was too absorbed in himself. Worried about the rising conflict with Quanari, fighting with himself over the choice regarding Starkhaven. She had looked to him for company and strength, instead of following her he had declined. When he heard about what had transpired with the blood mage he kept his distance. He was so worried about his damned vows and the temptation she gave to him that he had been selfish when she needed him most. After that night she seemed to pull away, coming to the Chantry to see him less often. He had always known that was the only reason she had ever come, she was not the person to want to spend their free time with the Maker. No. She only came on the chance of running into him and he knew it. As much as he tried to distract himself with loss of her absence he would find himself wandering Hightown hoping that he would catch her as she was making her way home.

He sighed, pulling himself out of his thoughts, her forehead was still pressed against the cold plates between her hands where she grasped at it causing her knuckles to turn white from the grip. "I am sorry, Laila." No more vows, he had to keep reminding himself, there were no vows he was breaking. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, slipping his head between her arms to let her arms rest on either side of his head and pulling her to him when she lifted her face away from his armor, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath when she clung to him and cried in to his neck. "You are right, I was the selfish one and I am sorry for not seeing it sooner." Fingers stroked her head and he pulled the shaking body closer, trying to be that comfort that she had needed so many years ago.

The two stayed that way long after she had calmed herself, neither wishing to move from an affection they had both craved all those years. It was not until a knock came at the door and a guard addressing Sebastian. He forced a smile when she pulled back and looked at his face, holding her blanket in place while he slipped her arms over his head. He pulled it back around her and held it until she took hold of it in her own hands.

"I'll send a servant with clothes and some food, see about that fire being lit." He looked over her shoulder through the window where the storm had finally approached and water now fell freely from the sky. "Give me a moment and I will return after you are tended to." The back of his hand ran over her cheek and he couldn't help but frown at her eyes that were puffed and red. He ran his hand over her shoulder before forcing himself to leave the room.

She watched as he left, turning away when she heard the lock once again. She made her way to the bed and pulled herself a top it, taking in a deep breath and slowly letting the air escape her chest. She closed her eyes and let herself escape within her own mind until she heard the door again and a young Elf entered, arms full. She stood from the bed to help the girl as she tried to balance the items within her arms. Laila took the food from her hands, walking back to the bed as the girl followed. "I would like to be left alone, if you do not mind. I can dress myself."

The Elf nodded her head slowly before hurrying out of the room to leave the mage alone with her own thoughts. Hawke picked at the food, slowly eating it while she watched the rain fall as the lightening struck and thunder shook the world around it. When she finished with her meal she pulled the dark blue dress the servant had brought her from the bed. Stepping into it before she groaned and looked down at the cuffs that encircled her wrists. How was she to dress herself, did the servant posses the key? She jerked her head up at the sound of a knock upon her door.

"Yes?" She pulled the blanket from the bed and covered her exposed upper body with it.

"I hope I am not intruding." An old woman smiled as she stepped in to the room.

"I was just trying to dress, but it would seem I cannot." She tucked the blanket under arm and held up her hand, high enough so the woman could see.

"Ah, well then, why don't you let me fix that." She pulled a key from her apron and hurried over to the girl, pushing the door closed with her foot. "Did you eat well?"

"Yes, thank you." Her restraints were pulled away, freeing her hands to be slipped in to the dress. She turned her back to the woman and quickly dressed herself.

"Here, love, let me help you with that. Sometimes these dresses are just not made for one person to dress themselves." The elder laughed and began the task of lacing the back of the dress.

"I'm sorry I did not get your name." Laila held her hair away from her back, keeping the woman's view clear.

"You may call me Elle."

"Thank you for your help, Elle. I thought I may be left in my small clothes until supper." Hawke laughed, glancing over her shoulder.

"Oh dear, I just found out that you were here. If I had known I would have came sooner." She finished the lacing and rubbed Laila's arm before turning to the fire.

"Oh please, allow me to do that." Hawke hurried over to the elder woman and took the tools from her hands.

"I thought you a guest of Sebastian's, I do not mean to be so forward, but I had thought the Chantry had changed him. You are the first naked and bound woman I have found within the halls since he has returned."

Hawke laughed, the fire roaring to life in front of her. She set the tools aside and looked over at the woman. "Were there many bound and naked women who were guests before he became a Brother."

"He was a lively young man." She laughed loudly. "He loved the women and the women loved him." She made her way to the bed, taking a seat and motioning for Hawk to join her. "Some of them were sweet young things, others... well I do not want to insult nobility, but I preferred finding his young servant girls over the nobles."

"Oh, I can only imagine!" Hawke chuckled as she sat down. "I am not one of Sebastian's lovers, I am just a friend."

The woman turned to face her, holding her hands in her lap. "I am curious why a friend would be leashed as you were."

Hawke turned away as she spoke. "It is a long story."

"He has a kind heart." She took hold of the mage's face and smiled when she saw the golden eyes again. "He will forgive you, I know so." She stood from the bed and took the girl's hand. "Come, you cannot stay in this room all day. Let me show you our home, the Vael's have such lovely paintings."

* * *

Sebastian raised his brow when he heard the giggling echoing through the hall, lowering the reports he held in his hand as it became louder. Out of curiosity he followed the sound, thinking he would find a few servant girls with his men or simply putting off their duties. He raised his eyebrow and stopped a distance away from the two figures, of course Elle would have retrieved Hawke as soon as she heard there was a young woman staying. He placed his papers on to a near by table, watching the two woman who spoke to one another before laughing. As quietly as his boots would allow him, being thankful he had been changed out of his armor before heading towards Laila's room it made it much easier to listen in on what exactly Hawke found so amusing.

"Maker! I find myself envious that I did not know Sebastian before the Chantry became a large part of his life." Laila laughed loudly.

"Oh!" Elle chuckled, covering her mouth with her hand as her cheeks flushed. "You're such a wonderful, strong girl. I find myself also wishing time had been different, though I assume for different reasons then your own." She smiled brightly and took Hawke's hand, waiting till the mage looked down at her before she spoke. "Your affections and strength may have tamed his wild spirit."

Hawke smiled and placed her hand over the old woman's. "That is sweet of you to say, Elle."

"Or you could have been in the same situation as the young servant girl..."

"Running from the noble woman as bare as the day I was born?" She finished the woman's sentence with a laugh.

"Hawke!" Sebastian yelled, quite louder than he had intended to, but the shock was evident in his voice.

She jumped at the sound of his voice, eyes going wide as her heart beat roughly against her chest with fear.

"It seems we have been caught." Elle laughed before turning to the prince. "Why did you not tell me this young woman was waiting in her room alone? We do not ignore our guests, Sebastian."

"Elle..."

"She is such a sweet thing, spending her day with me." The old woman touched Hawke's cheek, the mage smiled lightly at her in a attempt to hide her fear. It was a failure and she knew it when Elle gave her hand a tight squeeze. She released the mage and walked towards Sebastian, placing her hand on his cheek with a smile before leaving the two alone.

"I'm sorry, she came to my room and I..." She sighed when he turned to her. "She is very sweet, I just... she made me think of my mother. I had no intention on trying to leave or anything, I was just enjoying the company that's all." She wrapped her arms around herself and looked up at the painting they had been admiring while Elle told her of encounters she had with Sebastian's lady friends. "It is beautiful here."

"I imagine she shared some rather, degrading stories with you."

Hawke smiled widely, but did not look away from the painting. "I was quite surprised, I had never thought you to be one with such a... reputation. I mean, you only told Isabela and myself that you had been with women." She looked over at him as he walked towards her. "I would have never guessed any of what she shared."

"I threatened the family reputation with my own, as my mother had told me, that is why I was sent to the Chantry." He stopped next to her and looked up at the large painting of Andraste.

"We all have our weakness, Sebastian."

"I was just a selfish child, the Chantry helped me mature. When I first returned to Starkhaven I had not expected to find Elle, I thought she had been killed with the rest. It was a relief to see her, she was like a mother to me."

"She is quite amazing." Laila smiled.

"Seems she has taken a liking to you." He looked over at the girl.

"I've taken a liking to her as well." She tucked her hair behind her ear and looked back to the painting.

"Well, she has already freed you from your room, perhaps we should head to the kitchens." He motioned his hand towards the hall he had come in from.

"I could go for some food." She walked with him out of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Sebastian's laugh was warming, it made Laila smile and she couldn't help but watch him as he filled her glass again. "I find myself a bit... overwhelmed with what she told you."

"Oh, I was quite surprised." She chuckled and took the glass from his hand.

He shook his head with another laugh.

"It seemed like another person she was speaking of, I could never imagine you in the things she was telling me."

"I was young, and a bit dense."

"A bit?" She raised her eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

"Now you are just being mean, Hawke."

She laughed. "Isabela would be eating this up right now."

"I can only imagine." He groaned, taking a drink.

"Were you allowed this in the Chantry?" She held her glass of wine out to him.

"At certain times, yes, but I did not partake."

"What has changed?"

He looked down at the glass, running his thumb across its edge. "I never honestly wanted to be a part of the Chantry, I had no where else to go. My family exiled me and Elthina was all I really had and it made her happy, I just buried myself in service to the Maker and Andraste in the hopes of gaining my families favor again." He looked up at Hawke who watched him intently, she smiled softly. "They thought I may threaten my brother's rule."

"I remember you telling me this."

He smiled before letting out a sigh. "I feel ashamed that I feel relived to be free of my vows."

"I understand. If it makes any difference, I had always hoped you would claim Starkhaven. You did not belong in that Chantry."

"It is nice to hear you say that, Hawke."

She turned to the large fire that burned next to him, drinking slowly from the glass.

"Carver does not know where you are?" Sebastian broke the silence, causing her to look over at him.

"No." She glanced down at the table for a moment before looking back at the bright blue eyes that were hazed by their drink. "I assume he thinks me dead."

"What of Aveline? Surely she will wonder what has become of you."

She shook her head. "I told her I was going to travel and find my own place, she wished me luck and safety." She shrugged. "I had to leave Kirkwall, she knew it as much as I."

"So it was bad after you reached the mages."

"You have no idea." She shook her head. "When I am not feeling so light in the head I will tell you every detail."

He smiled before she looked away again. "Hawke?"

"Hmm?" She turned to him again, raising her eyebrow.

"I am sorry I was not there when your mother passed."

"It is..."

"No. I should have been there, you were right." He pushed himself up from the table and carefully walked over to her, pulling a chair from the table and sitting down in front of Hawke. "You were there for me when you had no idea who I was." He brushed her face with his fingers, pulling the hair away from her features. "I was so concerned with breaking my vows and giving in to my thoughts of you, them becoming a reality and I forced you away."

"Thank you for apologizing." She smiled, taking his hand and holding it in hers. "It is the past and I should have never brought it up."

"It bothered you, I can still see it in your eyes now. I thought that when I heard you were taken in to my custody that I would have you tortured until you released your knowledge on your mage companion. Then I saw you, and I saw your face." He put the heel of his boots on the back part of the legs of her chair and pulled her forward until her knees pressed against the chair between his open legs.

Her cheeks flushed, he was making her nervous and a bit uncomfortable with his affections. She did not know if they had ever been this close, she could smell the soap upon his skin and see the oil that kept his dark hair in place. His eyes seemed so much more vibrant this close to them, they stood out against everything on his face and she could not help but stare back at them as they seemed to search her own golden eyes for something. She knew what he was going to say, she had become broken. When exactly it had happened she had no idea, but one morning she awoke alone and her spirit just seemed to shatter around her. It bothered her mind and she had tried to search for the answer as to what had finally been to much for her to carry, but there was no answer. Not for herself and not for Sebastian.

"Laila?"

She smiled when he touched her face. "I'm sorry, I was a bit lost in my own thoughts."

He studied her face before returning his hand to her own, tracing the long sender fingers. "I do not think I could bring myself to harm you, Laila. My anger towards what happen is still there, but it is not towards you like I had felt it was. I was more focused on myself and what had been done to me that I did not take the time to look at the horrible things that had also happened to yourself. You were right, if I want to avenge what happen I need to do it myself and not rely on you to once again clean up a mess for me. I will hunt down Anders and I will kill him, but I will not make you bare the weight of my own vengeance. I cannot let you leave though, you will stay here as our guest until Anders is found."

"I have no where else to go, Sebastian. Your home is my own place of safety for now, maybe after you have satisfied this hunger within yourself I can return to Ferelden, to Lothering." She sighed, pulling her hand from his and taking the glass from the table. Her head went back as she finished off the contents of the glass before placing it down. She gasped when the man in front of her placed his hands on knees and pulled legs apart, griping them under the knee and draping them over his own legs. Before she could protest his arm were around lower back, pulling her roughly off her chair and on to his lap. She shook her head and pushed his hands down as they made an attempt to run up her sides. "You are being influenced by that wine, you will end up regretting this. I think it would be best if we both found our ways to our beds before you make a mistake."

"A mistake?" He raised his eyebrow as he took hold of the back of her thighs and lifted her with him as he stood. "I have fought against these thoughts for so long, I could not regret it."

She straightened her legs and forced him to allow her feet on to the ground as he walked unsteadily towards the stairs. "You will if you do this while you are like this." She pulled his hands from her back and took them in her own. "Walk me to my room?"

He smiled, swaying a bit as he did so before he began up the stairs towards the upper levels. Laila took his arm and pulled it over her shoulders to take the weight off his legs as the two made their way through the halls. He pulled her down a very heavily decorated hallway, his family banners hung from the walls and the doors had beautiful etchings with in their stone. He pulled her towards a door that had a large naked tree etched on to its front in gold.

"Sebastian." She narrowed her eyes and looked over at him, shaking her head slowly.

"Indulge me, Hawke. Only for a moment and then I will walk you to your room." He pulled her forward with his arm while he pushed the door open. He removed his arm from her shoulders and placed his hand on her lower back, using it to push her in to the room so he could shut his door.

She looked around the large room, running her fingers over a white and gold couch as she passed by it towards a large window. The garden lay below the window, a much wider view spread out than her own from her room. Sebastian pulled the curtains of the side windows closed before lighting the candles and making his way to the large fireplace. Laila turned to watch him, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. This was awkward, the way he was acting and looks he kept giving her with that smirk on his face. She had never felt so uncomfortable around him, perhaps it was the years she had spent watching him walk away from her or turn his back when she tried to make any sort of advances to him. The most he had ever done was hold her hand for a short moment before he again walked away and asked her to leave. It was like he was another man, someone she did not know and yet, he still felt like the same Sebastian. The friendly demeanor that they had always had was still there, but instead of her pushing his limits he was pushing hers, seeing how far he could go before she stopped him. She kept reminding herself that it was just the wine, he had said it had been some time and that would explain why he was having trouble controlling his actions. Maker, she had been so lost in her thoughts she had not noticed he was only in the brown pants he had been wearing. The vest and bright blue shirt were discarded on the floor next to his feet, and he was... Her eyes widened and she found herself backing up into the window, her hands grasping at the edge of the stone. He was walking towards her with a smile on his face that made her heart skip a beat. What was she suppose to do? Her mind was searching for her words, but nothing was coming out of her mouth and she could no longer push herself against the glass behind her unless it suddenly broke and allowed her to fall in to the garden below.

"Whoa." She put her hands on his chest, the only thing that her tangled mind could come up with. Her cheeks flushed when he covered her hands with his own. "Sebastian." She sighed, closing her eyes. "I am not going to do this, you will wake up and regret everything that happened." She looked up at him. "I don't want to be a regret for you."

"Hawke." He watched her face when he touched her face and her eyes closed. "You would never become a regret. "You're right, my mind is a bit foggy, but I understand how you feel and I will not push you to do something you think would be a mistake. Whether for me or yourself. I would like it if you stayed with me, I won't push anything further." He turned and walked over to were his clothes lay, pulling the deep blue tunic from the floor and taking it to her. Once she took it from his hands he took her shoulders and turned her to face the window, pulling her hair off her back and beginning to pull at the lacing.

"I think we will go in to town and see about getting you some proper clothes, I do not think I have ever seen you in a dress, Hawke. Your robes are as close as I have come to see you dressed like this." He brushed the tip of his fingers over her bared back. She shuddered and pulled her hair into her hands, holding it tightly. Fingers brushed her skin again, more daring than the first time. He pulled her hands away from her hands and back on to her back, combing his fingers through the raven length. A small smile flashed at her when he saw their reflection in the glass of the window, watching her face as he pulled the dress from her shoulders. "You look more beautiful than I remembered, Laila. That dirt washed from you face now I can actually see you." His smile widened when she laughed, leaning forward a bit and gently kissing the soft skin where her shoulder met her neck. He glanced up to her reflection and when she made no attempt to stop him he continued on to her neck, lightly biting at the skin and leaving small marks in his wake. Sebastian pushed the dress off her arms and let it collect at her waist, pushing in to her back with his chest while he placed his hand on the window to brace himself.

Laila's head rushed and she closed her eyes, allowing the archer behind her to harass her skin. He never stayed long enough in one spot for it to become irritating, but it was still long enough that it left her wanting more and she found herself tilting her head to allow him better access to the skin. Her hands moved to grasp his arm when it snaked its way around her stomach and molded her body against his. The tunic he had gave to her lay on the floor at their feet and she quickly kicked it aside as to not step on it and ruin the expensive fabric. She found herself wanting to protest when he pulled away, but his hands were soon at the dress bunched up on her waist. Pulling and pushing at it trying to free her from its hold.

"I'm a bit rusty." He laughed, his voice sounded of lust and it gave her body a chill. When the dress was finally in a puddle at her feet he became more desperate to push the limits of her will. Wondering how far she would allow him to continue before she stopped him, as long as she allowed him he had no intention of stopping. His hands seemed to move smoother, the fog in his mind clearing more as the effects of the wine seemed to melt away. He ran his hand, a little rougher than he had planned, across her stomach to her chest and ran his hands over the band that covered her breasts. He could not help, but press his body in to her the apparent evidence of his growing need pushing against her back side and earning a grown from the mage's lips. He pulled his hands away before pushing her against the glass, her hands immediately coming to lay upon the surface and brace her weight against it as he took hold of hips and pulled them towards him. Laila laid her forehead against the glass, her back arching of its own intention to allow the man better access to the bottom small clothes that he was tugging at with force.

Her eyes snapped open and put her hand behind her and placed it on his chest, pushing him gently back before she straightened her back. "We cannot do this Sebastian." She breathed, looking over her shoulder at him, his eyes heavy and heart beating quickly against her palm. He groaned and placed his forehead against her shoulder, removing his hands from her waist and wrapping his arms around her stomach. He kissed the side of her face more than a dozen times before he slowly let her girl and found his tunic, helping her pull it over her head and making sure her hair lay on top of it.

He smiled at her before he moved to the bed, pulling away the blanket as the girl followed him. They climbed in to the large bed together, the large and heavy blankets felt much better to Laila than her own think blanket she had the night before. Sebastian made her feel even better when wrapped his body around hers and she could feel the warmth coming from his skin, chasing away the cool air that tried to chill her. It wasn't long before she could feel his breathing become heavy, her own sleep reaching out to her and pulling her to the Fade.

* * *

The sun hit Sebastian's face through the open window causing him to tighten his eyes more closed as he groaned and pulled the blanket up to his face in an attempt to block out the intruder. His head was pounding, it felt like he had been slammed with a large rock multiple times over. He lay on his side with his mage bed mate smashed into his chest, her arms wrapped tightly around him with her face pushed in to the muscle in her own attempt to stop the sun from reaching her as it did when it had first peaked in from the window. He massaged at her spine when she moved her legs at his sudden motions of pulling the blanket, sighing against his skin. She stretched her leg that laid across his hip, pulling him closer to her in the adjustment.

"Head hurt?" She asked, her voice still heavy with sleep.

"More than I thought it would." He sighed, moving to put his fingers in to her hair.

She pulled away from him, enough that she could see his face. His usually well placed hair was out of order, pieces falling into his face. She ran her hands across the rebellious pieces and pushed them away from his eyes, smiling when the vibrant blue eyes made their appearance to look at her. "The best thing about being a mage." She pulled her hand away so he could see the light blue magic that began to form in to her palm.

"I imagine it is a good thing that I did not put the restrictions this far in to the castle then."

She laughed lightly and nodded. "You'll feel better in a moment." She whispered, pushing her palm against his forehead. The blue, icy magic wrapped itself around his head, diving down in to his skin and cooling the ache of his brain. He relaxed next to her and let his hand rest on her side while the pain was pulled away. She had healed him before when he had been injured, multiple times in fact when he had refused to make the trip to Anders, it had been different. The pain when she had forced his skin back together was something he would never forget, but now the magic seemed to completely erase any pain he felt until there was no more left. "Is it gone?"

"Yes, thank you Hawke."

"You're welcome." She let her hand slid down the side of his face as she removed it, leaving a light trail of magic in its path.

He pushed his hand under the tunic she wore, his fingers tracing small patterns on her skin. He could feel her ribs move as her lungs filled with air before it escaped her lips. The rhythm was soothing, always constant and he could easily make his fingers work with her breathing pattern. He opened his eyes to watch her face, the small twitches of her eyelids and lips, the way her eyelashes came together making them seem darker then they were. His dreams did not give her justice, now that she lay before him he could not help but compare her to the dreams and thoughts of her. Her body curved a certain way and allowed him to full grasp it something that could never feel real in his thoughts now that he had felt it for himself. He thought her hands to be rough and calloused from the use of her staff yet they were soft against his chest. All those times he watched her in battle, killing blood mages and demons he would have never thought she would allow him control over her body. He imagined her to be more direct with him, telling him what to do or showing him how to touch her but she did not, she allowed him to do as he wished and moved in to his touch. She was an amazing leader and overly skilled mage, he could remember her barking orders at him and cursing him when he came to close to being caught by a blade and now she allowed him to do as he wished. Two completely different women and yet they were still the same, a talented leader who commanded her comrades and the other who relinquished power and allowed herself to be lead by another. Was it inexperience or simply how she preferred it? He never heard her speak with the pirate of her adventures with men, but she had never shied away when the woman began with obscene conversations. She had surprised him a few times with the way she joked around with promiscuous woman.

Sebastian placed his hand under her chin and used it to guide her face upwards to him, losing himself in the golden eyes that slowly opened to him. They had always made him think they belonged to an animal the way they had shone in the candle light within the Chantry. His thumb ran across her bottom lip, how badly he had wanted to taste her every time she spoke to him when they were alone. His thoughts would begin to run off with him while he stared at her mouth, wondering if he would be able to make her melt in his arms with just a kill. How her lips would fit against his own and if she would taste like the berries she always ate when they were traveling. He wanted to know these answers that he had asked himself for years, always wonders, and now there was no vows between them that he had to worry about maintaining. He firmly took her face in his hands, leaning forward when she raised her eyebrow and then he heard his name from her lips. Just a whisper that made her breath warm his mouth that was close to hers, was it her way of asking him to stop or for him to continue. His eyes opened to find hers closed, waiting for that moment when he moved forward, he moved to look down at her mouth that was slightly parted. Her breath came in shallow ragged bursts and it made him smile the way she was behaving, you would think this woman was the one who had been fighting her temptation of him for all those years while he teased her they way she did him. He slowly placed his lips to hers, closing his eyes when she pulled him to her and moved her head to gain more of him. So she had not been asking him to stop, he couldn't help himself from the small chuckle that escaped against her mouth. He grabbed the back of her head when she made an attempt to pull away, slipping his tongue between her slightly parted lips. He became more rough with her mouth when she moaned and her nails dug into his back, the man's hand tightening in her hair and pulling it slightly while he invaded her mouth.

She had never been kissed like this, at first she found it odd been when his tongue found hers and began to entangle with it she could see how others would enjoy this. It was quite obvious why Elle had said women loved Sebastian, if he was kissing them all like this it was no longer a wonder why they were quickly in his bed. It was a bit sudden when she was pushed on to her back and the kiss was broken, her eyes flew open to see the noble taking hold of her knees and pushing her legs apart. She watched him quickly fill the space between her legs with his body, running his palms under the tunic and across the soft skin that lay hidden underneath the fabric while he lowered himself on to her body. He ran his fingers through her hair, staring in to her eyes before he kissed her again. She was lost in the moment, the feeling of the kiss and the pressure he was pushing between her legs with the movement of his hips. His breathing was a bit labored and she was embarrassed at her own, she was trying to control herself, but she could not. She had become a mess under the man, pulling at his hips and digging her fingers in to the flesh there while she moaned in to his mouth.

She could feel him smiling against her mouth, surely he thought her a fool as well the way she was reacting to such a gesture of attention. You would better find two people who had just come of age doing this action as to keep the girl pure then two who were grown and had long since been with another. Yet she could not keep herself from pulling at him, wanting more of what he could give her. If he had never been a Brother of the Chantry with vows she would have already allowed him to take her, but his vows are what ate at her mind. Between the vows he had given up for Starkhaven and Elle's stories of his former reputation, she found herself not trusting him fully. Was she something that he would use until he found something new and undiscovered or was he genuine in his want for her. She had no answer and she needed to stop him before this progressed any further and he shut her out again in a more painful way than he had at Kirkwall. Laila turned her head to the side but the prince did not falter, turning his attention to her now exposed neck. He made his own path across her collar bone, biting at the bone under the skin as she passed. She tried to catch her breath, attempted to muster the strength to stop him. When his hand began to wander over her chest and pulled the band away, fingers and palm kneading at the newly exposed mounds that filled his hand. She bit down on her lip and moved her head again when he tried to kiss her again. His brow came together in confusion and he made another attempt to capture her mouth, but again she moved before he could.

He paused and watched her face as she released her lip from her teeth, he used his arms to raise his chest off the girl to have better view of her face. Her brow was wrinkled and she did not open her eyes, instead kept them tightly closed with her head turned away from him. "Laila, did I do something you did not like?" He lightly brushed her nose with his thumb as he spoke, trying to read her face. "Are you hurt?" He shook his head, trying to think of what he could have done to cause her to turn away from him.

"I do not think I can do this, Sebastian." She breathed, her eyes still shut. She did not want to see his face, she had thought him heartless when he had turned his back on her in the Chantry after telling her he had no interest in her, but now she understood why he did. She did not want to see the anger or the hurt he may have for her.

"Is this not something you want, or does something trouble your mind?"

"I do not think it is something you want."

"Laila." He sighed. "I would not have started this if I did not want it. You were the first woman that made me question my vows to the Chantry, now that I am free of them I do not have to feel ashamed for my wants and feelings for you. I know what I want, but I am wondering if you still want the same as you did when you asked me in the Chantry."

Maker that night in the Chantry had not gone as she would have hoped it would, she thought Sebastian would understand and maybe feel as she did. It was a disaster, she came to him and told him of her feelings. Confessed to him in front of his Maker as he had always told her that the Maker would listen to her secrets that shamed her and she could always find an understanding in the Chantry no matter her sin. When the words left her mouth she had seen it in his face that he knew she spoke of him and the way she felt, but he did not give her an understanding mind. Sebastian had just turned his back to her and gazed up at the large golden statue that had dozens upon dozens of candles at its feet. It was her last attempt to make him understand that she needed him in a way that he could not give to her. He had not been there for her mother's death or when she needed him, but it had ate at her mind and she began to dwell on it. She tried to avoid him, stay away from the Chantry and not ask him for his aid any longer, but she soon found him in the most odd places. Outside her home in the streets, wandering as if he was looking for something and she would press herself against the stone and peer around the corner. Watching him before he would turn away, she had thought maybe he was looking for her, wanting to apologize for not allowing her to lean on him or tell her that she was not the only one with this pain in her heart. She had thought when she arrived at the Chantry he would feel relief at her confession and perhaps tell of his own troubles, but no. He turned his back on her and wounded her with his words, so she had left. No more visits, no more trying, no more anything. The only reason he was there with herself and Anders was on Elthina's request, if it had not been for her he would have died that night and not be ruling over Starkhaven.

Now he suddenly wanted her, was returning the way she felt in full force with no restrictions. She couldn't help but wonder why, was he using her confession to him against her in the hopes that if he fooled her enough she would tell him what he wanted to know of Anders. Or perhaps she was another lover for him to add to his past collection, perhaps he would return to his younger adventures and knew she would be an easy target to coax in to his bed and allow him to lay with her. When he was finished with her she would be cast away and forgotten with him having his fill of her and becoming bored. She was his prisoner, he had never said she was allowed to go free and continue on to where ever she was going. She was no longer bound, but it did not make her free of his hand.

"Laila?"

She closed her eyes tightly, trying her best to chase away these stories her mind was playing in to her thoughts. She knew Sebastian, she had loved him or did she still love him. Is that why she had traveled her, did she really come for supplies or was it truly in the hope of seeing him? When she opened her eyes she could see him watching her with concern. Would he be like that if he was only using her? Was his concern over her sudden shut down of his actions or perhaps he had come to realize that she was catching on to his game? What game was he playing though, there were many different ways he could draw information out of her, even if she had none to give him. Carver, he could threaten her with Carver. Surely he held enough power to get his hands on Carver or at least his fraction of the Grey Wardens and warn her with the knowledge of her brother's location. She took in a deep breath and he immediately stroked her cheek, his look of sympathy making her feel awful for the things that she was thinking of him.

"You seem conflicted, Laila. Do you want to tell me what bothers you so? Is this too much for you right now, are you overwhelmed?" He kissed her forehead and then between her eyes before resting his head against hers. "You waited patiently on me for so many years, it is only right that I wait for you to come to me. If you do not I will understand, there is only so much we can take from another before we no longer desire them like we do."

"I still desire you, Sebastian, I always have."

"Then tell me, tell me what is giving you so much pain. I can see it on your face, I saw it that night when I dared to look at you. It is the same look of a broken heart, what do you want from me? I want to make up for the words that I said to you and the way my actions spoke to you. I wanted you, Laila, I wanted you and it drove me mad. I became on edge, snapping at the others and finding myself full of frustration. I would catch myself watching the way your hips moved as you walked in front of me, wondering if they would move the same while I was inside of you. I damned myself with such impure thoughts of you and the things I wanted from you that it took such power for me to control myself. When you came to me and you told me how you felt, it took so much of my will for me to turn you away. If you had not left I would have never been able to keep that shield up that was protecting my vows from being broken. You can only watch the woman you love from afar for so long before you wish to show her that love and give her what she wants from you. It's not about you sharing my bed, or using you for my own pleasure and enjoyment. You are not like the women I laid with as a lad, you are smart, strong, a leader, charismatic and caring. These women were toys that I played with until something new came along, but you... you are something I would never tire of. I know Elle told you a bit more than I, but she did not tell you of how I have grown in to a different person. She has not learned of everything I have become, in her old age she still sees me as the sneaky young man leading servant girls and dense noble women to his chambers."

"I just..."

"I know." He sighed, leaning back on to his knees and turning to sit on the side of the bed. He ran his fingers through his hair before looking back to her. "If I can repair the damage I caused to whatever you felt for me in Kirkwall I would like to. You mean much more to me than you think you do, Laila. You always did, nothing changed that. Not the Chantry and not Anders. I could never keep you in that room, locked away and treated like murderer. His actions has caused you as much pain as it has caused myself, and I did not realize it until I saw your eyes. That is why I came to your room that night, I had thought that I may have fooled myself with my feelings and not thought correctly. You were so broken, crumbling before me and telling me of your pain. All I could think was how horrible I was for not being there and what you must think of me. That thought haunted me more than anything. When you told of how you have been alone, Hawke I should have never left. I would have never forgiven myself if you had come to harm on that road alone."

"But I didn't and I am fine." She smiled, sliding across the bed until she was behind him. She put her legs on either side of him and wrapped her arms around his body, laying her head against his back and hugging the man tightly. "A bit of a emotional mess, but other then that I am fine." She laughed, a teasing tone to her voice.

"Can I fix this, Hawke?" He looked down at her arms, softly guiding his fingers across the skin. "Is it of any worth to you anymore after the way I have acted?"

"I think so, yes." She kissed his shoulder blade, resting her cheek against it.


End file.
